Picture it, 2005. As the first signs of spring emerge on the Skidmore College campus, the student population has come out of hibernation. It's a Skidmore we never knew existed; people are actually outdoors, interacting. We notice specimens we have never seen before, especially junior and senior boys. As freshmen girls, scantily clad in our in our preemptive summer digs, we are kids in a candy store. We've already written off any potential freshman or sophomore prospects (with the exception of a bangin' sophomore, who we fondly refer to as Conversion Van), and the newfound upperclassmen serve to fulfill our fantasies of Jordan Catalano. With an herbal refreshment, a freshly burned mix for cruisin' downtown Saratoga Springs, and sunglasses, we truly believe that we are the coolest people on campus. Just as the freshmen girls before us and the freshmen girls after us, we make the mistake that the school is ours.
A Friday in the Life:
10:30 am - Julia shuffles into Emily's dingle (a double room with only one occupant) to waken her friend in order to recap the previous night's antics.
10:33 am - Emily prepares a remedy for our hangovers.
10:37 am - Julia fills up her Nalgene.
10:45 am - We are in Black Beauty (Julia's dearly departed Volkswagon), listening loudly to Kanye West "We don't Care."
10:54 am - Finally at Uncommon Grounds, our very own Central Perk. We giggle at the prospect of having our favorite employee take our order. Julia orders an iced soy latte and an everything bagel toasted with Atlantic smoked salmon, capers, and lemon; Emily gets a cinnamon raison bagel toasted with a shmear of cream cheese and an iced coffee. We do not dare remove our sunglasses when ordering, as eye contact with anyone is definitely something in which we are not interested.
11:07 am - Julia complains that the smell of burnt bagels in Uncommon Grounds is penetrating her clothing and seeping into her hair, and insists that we sit outside. Emily doesn't mind because we can tan. And as Uncommon tends to be a watering hole for all Skidmore students, it is perfect for people watching.
11:09 am - Spotted: Education Jake entering Uncommon. A boy in our shared education class. He subsequently drops out of Skidmore two weeks later...however, we never stop referencing him. Emily wants to go to Walmart.
11:46 am - We leave the comfort of Black Beauty for the comfort of Walmart. Emily decides we need to buy more board games.
11:51 am - Julia misplaces her car keys.
11:53 am - Julia finds her car keys.
11:56 am - After discovering the easily accessible guns in the sporting goods section, and having a sociological breakdown, we run for our lives.
12:12 pm - We announce our presence on campus through the obnoxiously loud music thundering from Black Beauty.
12:18 pm - Although we do not have class and do not live on campus, we still believe it necessary to be there. We find a central location in which we can lounge, gigggle, and scope out the hotties.
12:51 pm - Spotted: Mick Nencia. Despite the fact that he is two years our senior, he is mercilessly subjected to our brazen senses of humor. He is notorious for hitting on unsuspecting freshmen girls, which we find ruthlessly hysterical. For some reason he never received a nick name. Five years from now he will still be a source of entertainment, and a possible victim of prank phone calls.
1:10 pm - After spying and heckling numerous characters and crushes, we decide we're exhausted.
1:21 pm - Nap time. We need some r & r, so we recline in Emily's bed to watch Doogie Howser, M.D. We remain on 4th floor of Moore Hall for the rest of the evening, considering that it is not our policy to go out on Friday nights.
What a day.
