7th grade was fun because ignorance is bliss. We never really knew how ugly we truly were until years later, when in retrospect, we had the clarity that allowed us to acknowledge the intensity of our awkwardness. We were, however, aware of 7th grade boys, and knew that we were not what they wanted. 7th grade boys like the 7th grade girls who look approximately two years older than the rest of their female counterparts. These girls, the "developed" girls, were not necessarily the nicest--the 7th grade hierarchy made them Queens, while we were merely court jesters. Even if you hung out with these girls and were considered "cool," once the boys were in sight, the cruelty of 7th grade set in. Resembling the little boy from "3rd Rock from the Sun" (yes, Joseph Gordon Levitt is, like, so totally hot NOW...) is not an easy feat when you're 13. Not to mention, looking like a chubby version of your little brother doesn't score you any points when you are mistaken for him at the middle school dance. Although we were out of touch with our appearance, at the same time we were consumed by it. Being 13 was difficult. Enter M.A.C. cosmetics.
We believed that by applying frosted white eye shadow, matching pink lipstick, and copious amounts of sparkles, we could deceive the population of 13-year-old boys into thinking we were Jenny McCarthy. We used M.A.C as a device to distract from our awkward, unappealing, 13-year-old selves...or so we thought. In reality, frosting ourselves only enabled us to live out our feudal sentence as entertainment for the popular masses. M.A.C. did not stop Lauren and Blair from spreading a rumor that Emily's mom shaved her legs for her. Nor did it stop Holly from refusing to share her sour lemon War Heads with "dork" Julia. Despite the fact that M.A.C. was not our Fairy Godmother, our tubes of lipglass served as a much needed security blanket for the harsh world that is 7th grade.
M.A.C., this 7th grade song is for you.
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